All We Take With Us
by UnholyDragoon
Summary: In the midst of tragedy, comfort can be found in the most unlikely of places


**_All We Take With Us_**

By Drez

**[Note: This takes place somewhere between episodes 22-24]**

            The sights and sounds of the countryside were a staple in the life of an adventurer.  The call of birds as they flit through the trees mixes with the scampering of the smaller animals makes a comforting backdrop to the leisurely travels of a band of wanderers on the slightly beaten path.  When the wind sighs through the trees, you could swear it was singing.

            None of this fazed the leader of the traveling group.  Lina Inverse, the Dra-Mata, the Enemy-of-All-Who-Live, seemed to be enjoying the trip, on the outside, but on the inside she was screaming.  Gourry was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it.  But she couldn't tell her friends about her feelings.  The crimson eyed sorceress had learned that lesson long ago.

            The party continued on until nearly dark at Lina's urging, not stopping for lunch.  Zelgadiss and Amelia had looked worriedly at her, and Martina stared in open mouthed shock, but they could not shake Lina from her course.  Finally, though, the chimera caught Lina by the shoulder.

            "That's enough for one day, Lina," he began as she stopped her forced march.  "Your beat.  I can see the bags under your eyes."

            Zelgadiss pointed over his shoulder with the hand not restraining the fiery woman.  "Amelia and Martina have had it; they can barely keep up."

            Lina shook her shoulder free with a growl and said, "I have to keep going Zel.  Gourry needs me."

            Crossing his arms, the chimera frowned at her. "You not going to be any good to Gourry or yourself if you don't rest.  Look, there's a clearing near the stream we just passed.  We'll camp there and head out at first light."

            The flame haired sorceress nearly turned to ignore him, then she saw how haggard her companions were.  Even Zelgadiss, whose endurance was greater than either hers or Gourry's, looked slightly paler than he normally would.  She sighed and started walking toward the clearing.

            "Fine then! I'm going to take a bath in the stream."  She paused and looked over a cloaked shoulder before adding, "And you'd better have dinner ready when I'm done!"

            Zelgadiss just shook his head, his wiry hair barely moving.  He turned to the other two women.  "You heard her.  Let's get camp set up before Lina's tempted to fireball _us_."

            "You don't think she really would, do you Mister Zelgadiss?"  Amelia asked as she joined the chimera in the short jaunt to the clearing.

            He shrugged his shoulders.  "With Lina, you never know."

            The princess frowned and looked over towards the vanishing form of the sorceress.  "She must really be hurting."

            By this time Martina had recovered enough to catch her companions.  Instead of adding in, she merely listened to the conversation.

            "Yeah," Zelgadiss agreed as he began pitching the tents.  It was lucky he only needed his hands for the job.  "But Gourry's the only one she would ever really _talk_ to, Amelia.  I don't think anyone else knows her better than him, maybe not even her family."

            Gray eyes widened in amazement.  Could they be talking about the same two people Martina knew?  Gourry, hunky as he was, couldn't even remember Zoamel Gustav, for L-sama's sake!  And Lina was the strongest woman, other than herself of course, that she had ever met.  Something had to be done about this.  So while Amelia and Zelgadiss were finishing with the camp, Martina sneaked off to find Lina.

            The red-headed sorceress had finally reached the stream the chimera had mentioned.  Listening intently, Lina was relieved to find herself alone.  Immediately, her outer veneer of calm and capable sorcery genius fell away, revealing the haunted eyes and the slumped shoulders possessed by her when she had woken the day after losing Gourry.  

            Mechanically she went about disrobing next to a large rock jutting up and out of the stream.  The disheartened crimson eyed woman paused after removing her gloves, cloak, and boots.  She looked around the small glen she was in, then collapsed to her knees.  Instead of seeing the surrounding woods and water, Lina only saw a similar clearing she had been in a little over a year ago.  

_            Leaning against a tree, Gourry relaxed while she pulled fish after fish out of the river they had camped next too.  He had just complimented Lina on her custom fishing spell, so she was just slightly flushed as she worked. It was just the effort she put into fishing.  Really._

_            The two of them, newly companions, ate mostly in silence.  She was busy eating as many fish as she could, but noticed Gourry being a little pickier.  He would only eat part of the fish.  Shrugging, she went back to her feast._

_            A moment later the swordsman spoke.  "You eat the whole thing? Even the guts?"_

_            "Of course!  The guts are the best part."_

_            Gourry hold up a worm.  "But you used these as bait, right?"_

_            The sorcery genius nodded, a mouth full of food._

_            "So where did it go when you caught the fish?"_

_            After thinking a moment, Lina's stomach rebelled and expunged all of the food she had just eaten._

            Her memories overcoming her, hot tears fell from her crimson orbs.  Gourry was gone, and if she didn't get him back then she couldn't make new memories like that.  So Lina sobbed, her hands in her face.  The more she tried to struggle against the tears, the swifter and more violently they fell.  As the tears fell, she could only feel weak.  Fragile little girls like Sylphiel cried, not Lina Inverse!  And if she kept telling herself that, she'd stop crying.

            After a longer time than she felt possible, the tears stopped.  It was a shaky bit of control, but it was control nonetheless.  Overshadowing her sorrow was anger.  Anger at Hellmaster, for taking Gourry away.  Anger for Gourry, for getting taken.  Mostly, it was anger for herself.  Stubbornly refusing to cry further, Lina finished disrobing and stepped into the river.  It was cold, but not cold enough to freeze her; it was just cold enough to shock her out of her depression.

            After cleansing herself, the flame haired sorceress remained in the water.  What could she do?  She didn't know if she was strong enough to take on Hellmaster Phibrizzo.  If she didn't, though, she'd never get Gourry back._  That damned jellyfish!  How'd he get to be so damn important_?  Putting her head in her hands, she rested her arms on the stone she had set her clothes on.  _How?_

            Unbidden, the tears came again.  It was no use, she couldn't, just couldn't, face this. Not now, not ever.  

            Stepping from the rock, gray eyes regarded the sobbing, petite young girl before her.  _She is young, isn't she?_ Martina thought to herself.  She had needed to see it for herself.  Unless witnessed, it was simply impossible to believe that Lina Inverse was anything other than the collected, strong, sorcery genius that she showed the world.  _When it comes down to it, she's no stronger than the rest of us._  Martina coughed to alert Lina to her presence.

            Ruby eyes snapped up and widened in shock when they settled on Martina.  "Go away, Martina," Lina fairly growled, sinking further into the water to hide herself from the green haired princess.  She got angrier when the girl didn't leave.  "I said…."

            "Yes, yes, I heard you Lina.  But I can't leave you like this."

            Lina's eyes nearly bugged out of her skull when Martina began shedding clothes, until the royalty of Zoana was dressed only in her bikini.  She could only watch, stunned, as the princess stepped into the water.  

            Martina immediately clutched her arms around herself when she stepped in the stream.  After a moments discomfort, she purposefully walked to within a foot of the petite sorceress.  "Right now, you need a friend," she said to Lina.  She waited expectantly for a moment.  "Well?"

            "Well what?"  Lina asked.

            "Why are you so upset?"

            Lina whirled on the other girl.  "Gourry's gone, stupid!  He's gone, and I couldn't stop it!"  She screamed at Martina.  "I don't know if I'll ever get him back, and I never told him…!"  Lina stopped abruptly, clamping her hands over her mouth.

            Martina wanted to smile, but stopped herself.  That wasn't what Lina needed.  Instead, she looked at her with soft gray eyes and said, "Never told him what, Lina?"

            Expecting a scathing remark, the fiery sorceress was doubly surprised by Martina's response.  Unless she was mistaken, the girl was actually being _kind_ to her!  All of her defenses fell short with the unexpected kindness.

            "None of your business Martina," Lina replied softly instead of a verbal outburst.

            "But Lina, if you don't talk about it, what are you going to do?  Hold it all in?"

            The ruby eyed sorceress nodded.  "I don't want to talk about it."

            Martina frowned at her and said, "Well, sister, that's not gonna work.  All your going to do by holding it in and denying is build up and explode.  And that won't get Gourry back."  She watched ruby eyes duck down and away from her.

            "I can't.  I just can't Martina.  Emotions only make you weak," Lina replied in a forlorn whisper.  "I learned that a long time ago."

            Gray eyes widened in shock and outrage.  "How can you say that Lina?"  Martina asked incredulously.  "What about Gourry?  Is he weak then?"

            Lina looked back up at Martina.  "Of course not!  If he weren't so strong, Phibrizzo wouldn't have taken him!"

            The green haired girl nodded, her eyes never leaving Lina's.  "Well Lina, that's pretty much all he has.  After all, you said yourself he's a jellyfish.  Do his emotions make him weak?"  Martina watched the sorceress shake her head.

            "You don't get it, Martina.  The one time I tried that I got hurt,"  Lina said in a sad voice.  "That's why I can't tell anybody anything."

            Martina smiled softly and said, "But you tell Gourry stuff, right?  And he hasn't said anything."

            Eyes the color of a crackling flame widened in surprise as Lina nodded.  The princess smiled and said, "I won't say anything either."

            Still unsure, Lina asked, "You Promise?"

            Light green locks swayed as Martina nodded her head in agreement and said firmly, "I promise, on the throne of Zoana."

            She stared hard, ruby eyes piercing gray.  "When I was at the Guild learning magic – I was about ten or eleven, I think – I, um, kindahadacrushonaguy."  The last came out in a rushed whisper.

            Hearing the edge of pain, Martina only nodded once.  "And what happened?"

            Lina sniffed, once, before saying, "I went to the people I thought were my friends there, looking for advice."  Soft tears fell unbidden down her face.  "When I told them, they laughed at me.  They said…they said…

            "They said I'd never be liked by a guy.  That the only guys that would like me are the ones into little boys."

            Martina gasped softly and put a hand on Lina's shoulder.  Lina continued, "The next day they told everyone in the guild.  For the next year, everyone stared at me, more than usual.  And when they thought I couldn't hear, they snickered and made jokes.

            From that point on, the only thing anybody ever got out of me was anger.  It's been a long time, and I've grown; now it's all I have left."

            "Oh, Lina, Lina, Lina," Martina said before she shocked Lina by pulling her into a hug.  It was brief, but strangely comforting.  "You don't have to be afraid."

            The princess released Lina and said, "Don't you know that Love will find a way?

            My mother used to tell me that a man or a woman in love can change the world."  Martina smiled at Lina as she stood and got out of the water.  After collecting her clothes, she turned back to staring crimson eyes.  As she turned to leave, she paused and looked over her shoulder before leaving to rejoin Zelgadiss and Amelia.

            "We can have all the power in the world, Lina, but all we can take with us in the end are the relationships and love that we've shared."

            Lina watched the green haired princess walk away.  She paused for a few moments more before climbing out of the stream and drying.  Putting her clothes on gave her time to think over what Martina had said.  Of all the people she expected to give her a better perspective, it definitely wasn't the snobby princess.

            The most important thing to Lina was that she _did_ feel better.  And she owed it to Martina!  _I don't know if she's right, but it's a start.  And she was right about one thing: I do talk to Gourry a lot more than I do anybody else.  But Love_?  She snorted in contempt.  _Loves for those wishy-washy types._

            With renewed vigor, the sorceress finished dressing and headed towards the camp.  She sped up when she smelled  the welcoming scent of food.  That would return her to her old self.  After all, she was Lina Inverse!  And Victory was _always_ hers.         

* * *

'Allo, 'Allo!  This is Drez, otherwise known as Unholydragoon.  Do to the unusual challenge voiced by Growly, here is a little fic inspired by the song, "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away".  Originally by the Beatles, done most recently by Eddie Vedder for the movie I am Sam.  If you haven't seen it, go.  Go now, you won't regret it.  The song, especially the sad acoustic version by Eddie, just sprung this story on me.

            This is a bit of a departure for me from the stories I usually do.  I have no idea where it came from, other than I wanted to do something a little different.  After reading the lyrics, I immediately thought of Zelgadiss.  But that would be expected.  So I wracked my cranium again.  Viola! I thought of Gourry.  Yet again, a predictable answer.  So I brainstormed, and hit upon this fic.  It is kind of a rebuttal, I guess.  Maybe.  Kinda-sorta-not-really.

            As per the rules, there are a few snippets of the song in there.  I'll leave ye to figure it out though!  -_^  Half the fun will be the search.  Also, I'm sorry if the story seems to wrap up kinda quickly, but I kinda wanted to keep it as short as possible.  (Also as per the rules)

-DREZ

For those of ye that are curious, here are the Lyrics to the song:

_You've Got to Hide Your Love Away_

_Here I stand head in hand,_

_turn my face to the wall,_

_If she's gone I can't go on,_

_feeling two foot small_

_Everywhere people stare,_

_each and every day,_

_I can see them laugh at me,_

_and I hear them say_

_Hey!_

_You've got to hide your love away,_

_Hey!_

_You've got to hide your love away_

_How can I even try?_

_I can never win,_

_hearing them, seeing them_

_In the state I'm in,_

_How could she say to me,_

_"love will find a way?"_

_Gather round all you clowns,_

_let me hear you say_

_Hey!_

_You've got to hide your love away,_

_Hey!_

_You've got to hide your love away_


End file.
